"One more week. I have one week left in Tennessee. That's so crazy, unreal, and getting harder as it gets closer. I think overwhelmed is the most appropriate word for how I feel... overwhelmed with how little time is left, and how much time I'm gonna be gone. Overwhelmed with a million crazy thoughts and feelings, and with what I need to be focusing my attention on during these days. Overwhelmed by how fast the days are going by. I feel unprepared and nervous. A few weeks ago, the time to go to Alaska couldn't come fast enough. Now that it's just days away, it's coming too fast.
I think I feel scattered and distracted, like I'm dazedly floating and to-do-list-checking my way through these days. I need encouragement and help from God and His Word, but my Bible studies the last few days have seemed irrelevant to where I am right now..so that's not helping.
This morning while working out, the song 'Irene' by TobyMac came on my iPod. So old-school! :-) It makes me smile because of the memories of my first couple of summers at Ba Yo Ca associated with it. Anyway, the words kinda blessed me in a strange way this morning. There's a section that repeats 'everything's gonna be alright, everything's gonna be alright' several times, and it was somewhat calming to hear that repeating in my ears through the earbuds. Then one of the choruses says,
Hey little girl with the pressures of the world
On your shoulders, don't say that it's over
I heard your prayers, just cast your cares
And I'll be there so don't you fear
Matthew 11:28-30 says 'Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.' I've prayed for soul-rest for others I love many times lately...now I need it for me!"
Don't let this journal entry mislead you, friends. I truly am very excited about going to Alaska and about the ministry there!! (also, I did have a more encouraging devotion time after writing this :-) ) I'm confident God has called me there and it's going to be great. Honestly, it would be abnormal if I wasn't kinda freaking out a few days before leaving on a mission trip. It always happens. Maybe it's a bit amplified this time because it's for almost 6 months -- not just a few weeks. Anyway, I am excited. But as you can see, it's also kinda tough sometimes. I definitely appreciate your prayers! :-)