Wednesday, October 10, 2012

on singleness...

My September 5 journal entry:

"Got an email from [a friend] this morning.  She said, 'Love is hard but not impossible,' and said to keep praying, 'not in an attitude of desperation, but telling God that you need a person by your side.' 

You know that, Abba - that I need and want my man by my side, and to be by his.  But Your timing is perfect for that.  I can't even say if I'm ready for it or not, but I want to be.  Father, fulfill the desires of our hearts in Your perfect timing, and may it be soon, according to Your will.  Help me to rest in You and wait patiently, even when my flesh wants to pursue.  Remove selfishness from me, Lord, and develop agape love within me.  Prepare me to be the girlfriend, the companion, the wife that my man needs me to be - and more importantly, that You want me to be for Your glory!  And please be preparing him, too, to be a godly boyfriend, companion, husband, father, that I need/want him to be and that You're calling him to be.  Thank You for Your work in both our lives.
It's hard to have hope sometimes...Hard to imagine it actually working out beautifully...but help me hope, Lord; help me believe.  And God, continue to help me love and want You the most.  I pray that You would come before everything in both our lives, even before each other." 

[Note: the "man" referred to is an unknown person! :-) ]
Pray for your future mate, ladies and gentlemen.  And pray for God to bring you together!  I certainly do, though I sometimes feel like God is ignoring me.  He isn't.  But His ways are far above ours.

Yes, there have been moments in life that I have stomped my feet at God and told I'm that I'm sick of being alone.  There have been moments I've told Him I didn't want to learn any more "lessons" from "the gift of singleness." (as all the articles meant to make us feel better say!)  But in the end, I do believe that He knows what He's doing, and that what He's doing is something loving and beautiful.

It takes courage to hold onto that hope.  Let's hold it anyway.
"He makes everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11

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