Thursday, January 13, 2011

do you fit?

The other day, I started thinking about how I don't really seem to "fit in" with any particular group. Not that I'm an outcast... I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and a few good friends. But what I'm saying is, if I look across a room-full of people I know, there are definite "groups." These 4 are a group with certain characteristics. Those 2 or 3 are a group who always hang out together. Some people are members of more than one group. But think about it... the groups are there.
What I realized is that while I can spend some time in many of these groups, and I love a lot of the people in them, I don't really quite exactly fit in any of them. Do you ever feel that way?
So I asked God, why don't I ever feel like I fit in?
The answer? Well, for one, if I fit perfectly with a group of friends, I'd be less likely to reach out to other people who "don't quite fit." This is how I met my friend Alisha. We were at an event where neither of our "groups" were there -- I was trying desperately to fit in & ready to give up, when I saw her sitting alone. We started talking, and the rest is history. If I'd been involved and comfortable with my group, we might not have become friends.
Second, being comfortable and secure in a group of people I "fit in with" keeps me from stretching/challenging myself. Floating between groups and getting to know various people takes effort and getting out of one's comfort zone.
And finally, if I'm secure in a group of people, then I don't get to practice being secure in God. My position with Him always stays the same -- chosen, holy, and beloved (Colossians 3:12 -- that's your position, too, you know!) Other people might not always treat us that way, but that's our opportunity to rise above and remember who we are. This is something that has taken years for me to grasp, because I want so badly to be liked by other people. I'm learning that being loved by Jesus is enough :-)
Reaching out, being stretched, and remembering our position in Christ... maybe being a "misfit" occasionally isn't so bad?


  1. I dealt with this just last week!
    I can definitely relate!
    Great post, Ashley!

  2. Hmm this is an interesting way of looking at it. I've never really thought about it like that before. I can relate; I fit in with alot of groups, but I don't have "my" group. I've always thought of this as a bad thing, but I like how you said if you fit in with one group, you'd be less likely to reach out to others. I know from my own experience that that's so true.

    Good post, friend! :)

  3. I had forgotten about that. that IS how we became friends!
    I agree though. I know I tend to stick to my own group, but I try and reach out to those who aren't really in a group, therefore growing the one I'm in. That's why I got in trouble some this summer during boys weeks because I was trying to befriend some of the ones that didn't seem to have a lot of friends.


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